


自分を信じで

by everyshootingstar



Category: Funhaus (Video Blogging RPF), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Multi, polamory negotionations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6264988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyshootingstar/pseuds/everyshootingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Elyse realize something—and Benson’s there too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	自分を信じで

**Author's Note:**

> Originally [here!](http://shiphoose.tumblr.com/post/136447490075/%E8%87%AA%E5%88%86%E3%82%92%E4%BF%A1%E3%81%98%E3%81%A7-killemses)
> 
> This is another repost aaaaah. Title translates to _believe in yourself_.

It starts on Halloween, with celebrations and Adam squeezing into James’ old cowboy costume, pulling the chaps up over his jeans while Elyse does her makeup in the bathroom mirror—she can see him through the doorway, he’s standing in their bedroom, back to her and she can admire the way his jeans hug his ass, the way the chaps are too small almost, how they accentuate his legs, ass and thighs.

_You almost ready?_ James’ voice calls through from the hallway and Adam does a little hop thing to get the chaps fastened over his jeans and Elyse puts the finishing touches on her makeup and grabs the wig from the counter, _Ready when you are cowboy,_ she calls out to Adam, pulling the wig down over her hair, fixing it with a glance in the mirror and Adam’s grabbing the vest from their bed, fighting his way into it—it’s too small, Adam’s shoulders are wider than James’ and he looks at Elyse, a _help me_ look on his face and she laughs because he looks even more ridiculous with the way he’s shaved his facial hair.

He’s warm under her touch and it feels almost intimate when she goes into the bedroom to help Adam into the vest proper, smooths her hands down his chest and he gives her a shy sort of look, mumbles a soft _thank you_ and steps back just in time for James to come in, tying on the last piece of his costume.

_Found this,_ James says and tosses a dusty cowboy hat to Adam who laughs and shakes off the dust before plopping it on his head, _Great, now I look like a real cowpoke,_ he says with a fake southern accent and a tip of his hat in Elyse’s direction, _Ma’am,_ he says.

Elyse laughs at that and grabs her phone, _Wait,_ she says and snaps a picture of Adam with the hat still tilted while he’s making a ridiculous face and she feels light and heady as she looks down at the photo, feels a strong feeling of _fondness_ for the man.

_What about me?_ James says and he’s pouting, looking down at her with big blue eyes and she snorts, rolls her eyes and snaps a picture of his dumb, pouting face, _I have plenty of you, vain,_ she says afterwards.

He winks at her, blows her a kiss and then turns to the door, _Alright you two, let’s go, we’ve got a long night ahead of us._

(Several parties later, they end up at a bar and Elyse tries to make a joke about a cowboy, a ninja and Bob Ross walking into the bar, but Adam’s laughing loud in her ear, leaning heavily into her on her left while James is at her right, not much better and it kind of dies on her tongue because she feels so _good_ , feels _right_ with these two—sure, she’s married, happily so, but including Adam in things, including him in Halloween or dinner, it’s been a godsend almost.

Having Adam there with them, having him on her left and James on her right, there’s something so fundamentally _right_ about it, she’s not sure why they haven’t done it before.)

The bar’s a bust, they’re all too drunk for the bartender to even think about serving them anything but water, so they sober up a little and Elyse laughs herself red in the face when James starts tossing peanuts at Adam, repeating his name over and over, trying to get him to catch them.

And then, at a half past three in the morning, she drags them out of the bar, the most sober between the three of them and they lean on her while they walk back to the apartment; it’s quiet, just Adam’s soft giggles each time he stumbles a little and sends them off of the sort of straight path Elyse has them on.

_You two are the best,_ Adam says, they’re about a block from the apartment and Elyse looks away from the sidewalk to look over at Adam, Adam who’s got a thoughtful sort of look on his face, _A penny for your thoughts?_ She asks and he blinks and looks at her.

(She’s blown away by how bright his eyes are, the way they _shine_ in the streetlight, by the way a grin blooms across his face that makes his eyes scrunch up—and he stumbles again and laughs, shifts them all into a hard right before Elyse is there straightening them up again, James grumbling by her side.)

_I’m just thinking about how you two are my best friends,_ Adam says loudly, voice echoing in the empty street and in her ears, how warm and happy he sounds, how _they—_ James and Elyse—are the reason he sounds that way.

_That’s great buddy,_ James says and he’s a little more sober than Adam but not as sober as Elyse, _But concentrate on walking so we can get home in one piece_.

_Home_ , the word echoes in her mind and she wonders if Adam considers their apartment home too.

(Despite Adam protesting that he’s not tired, he ends up half out of his costume and collapsed on their couch and Benson, Benson jumps up there and he reaches for him, wiggling fingers and _doggy doggy doggy_ and she snaps a picture, snaps several of them while James is gone to get a blanket and pillow for Adam.

James is exasperated when he comes back and Benson jumps down from the couch when he tosses the pillow into the empty spot by him, _Come on Kovic,_ he says and Elyse stands back, watches James wrestle Adam out of the vest and then the chaps, she ignores the way his hands look at Adam’s waist, on Adam’s hips and thighs—she has to excuse herself, mutters something about getting ready for bed and leaves the living room while James is loudly replying to Adam’s drunken spiel about how he’s not a child and can undress himself.

_How’s he doing?_ Elyse asks James who’s coming out of the bathroom and James just shrugs, falls into bed beside her and pulls her into a minty flavored kiss, _He’s Adam,_ he mumbles against her mouth and there’s just _something_ about having her husband mumble the name of another man while he kisses her.)

A sort of normalcy settles over them after that, and more often than not, Elyse finds herself in the presence of Adam’s company and it shouldn’t be weird because they’re _friends_ and friends hang out with each other, but also it _is_ weird because they’re _friends_ and Elyse wants to _be more_ than friends.

_I’m not ready for the holidays,_ Adam says one afternoon, he’s lying on the floor with Benson while James is in the kitchen grabbing beers for them and Elyse glances up from her phone when he speaks, looks at the way that Adam’s staring at Benson, staring almost _too hard_ at him, like he’s trying to count the hairs on the back of his head.

_Why not?_ She asks hesitantly and Adam hesitates, fingers going for Benson’s flop ear and Elyse waits, lets him work through whatever’s going on in his head—she knows him, knows if its bothering him that bad he’ll tell her when he can formulate the words.

_Family,_ is all he says, all he has time to say because James is coming back with three beers and a bowl of popcorn; taking his seat beside Elyse on the couch while Adam sits up and moves until he’s sitting back against the couch at Elyse’s other side.

_Alright Kovic,_ James says and passes Adam a beer, _You pick first_.

(The closer Thanksgiving gets, the less Adam comes by, the less he smiles and laughs and Elyse is _worried._

_Where is he?_ She asks him and James just gives her this look, a little shrug and a frown, _He’s at the office, says he wanted some peace and quiet to get some work done._

Elyse frowns, gives James a look of her own and immediately pulls her phone out, _James,_ she says slowly, _Something’s wrong with Adam_.

James snorts beside her and she looks up from the text she’s writing, _I know, Elyse,_ he says, voice solemn and he leans back into the couch with a sigh, _He’s been a bit down lately, I don’t know what to do for him._ (James sounds tired and Elyse briefly reaches out to rest her hand on his shoulder—and he melts, ends up laying against her on the couch while she types out a text to Adam.)

_He says he’s heading home now,_ Elyse says several moments later, _Somehow I doubt he is, though_.

James presses his lips together, _We can only do so much for him,_ he says quietly, _Look, Elyse, I know you want to—_ he stops and presses his lips together again. _Let him come to us_.

As Elyse types out an _Alright, get some rest_ to Adam, she decides that, this sort of situation, she’ll have to take into her own hands.)

Adam spends more time at the office, brushes off Bruce’s concern and James’ concern, ignores that it’s a Friday and tries working on thumbnails for future videos, tries to turn off the buzz in his head that makes being alone in his apartment impossible.

_I knew you’d be here,_ it’s _Elyse_ of all people and Adam turns around in his seat, sees her standing there in the dimmed office lights like some sort of angel and Adam feels _something_ just _something_ inside him, _Adam, whatever it is, you know you can come to me, to James, to any of us,_ she says quietly although her voice is loud in the room, loud over the soft hum of Adam’s computer.

Adam’s shoulders are stiff and he spins back around, can’t _look_ at her, ends up staring at a half finished thumbnail that he’ll probably end up scrapping, _It’s stupid_ , he finally says, grips his mouse sort of tight, _It’s really dumb, I’m an idiot._

Elyse moves further into the room, keeps her distance and Adam’s thankful, her voice is closer, she’s closer but not _too close_.

_Adam, if it’s bothering you this much it’s not dumb, you’re not an idiot,_ she says, ends up pulling the chair from Matt’s desk around so she can sit in it, prepared to sit there for as long as she needs to.

Adam doesn’t say anything so Elyse tries a new tactic, rolls her chair closer so she’s sitting at the edge of Adam’s desk, _What are you working on?_ It’s obviously a thumbnail for an Open Haus video, she knows that, she’s seen enough of the thumbnails on their youtube page to know, but she asks anyway.

Adam doesn’t bite though, just sighs, grips his mouse tight, _Elyse, what are you doing?_

It stings somewhere inside her, his words, the slight bitterness of them and she steels herself, tells herself not to get upset because the last thing they need, the last thing Adam needs is to know that his words hurt her a little, _I care about you Adam and so does James, you’re **worrying** us._ Her voice is strong, a little angry and Adam _deflates_.

_I’m sorry,_ Adam says quietly, almost too quiet and Elyse sighs and leans back in her chair, _I’m not accepting your apology,_ she says, knows he’s apologizing about worrying them, about what he said minutes before but she’s worried, damn it, she’s not going to give in like he is.

_Come home with me,_ she finally says after watching Adam half-heartedly click around on the thumbnail, _Come to James and I’s apartment, rest there. We’ll go out for breakfast in the morning, go down to the beach_.

Adam’s grip on the mouse lets up and Elyse can see the way his fingers tremble, the way he pulls his hand away and closes it into a fist, how it goes under the desk and out of her sight, _Elyse, it’s November,_ he says.

_Wear a coat,_ she retorts back and when he looks at her, she grins, _Come on Adam, we’ll take Benson with us, maybe James’ll even let you toss the frisbee for him._

It takes a while, but Adam says yes and she ignores the way he has to _force_ the word out and how long it takes him to shut his computer down (and she notices, he doesn’t even save the half-finished thumbnail, tries not to think about what that means, about him making work for himself just to keep himself at the office) and then he’s grabbing his coat and following her out of the office.

He follows her back to her apartment and when they arrive, she’s there by his car before he even gets out and then, then she’s grabbing his arm and leading him inside.

_Oh hey Adam,_ James says, looking up from the book he’d been reading and he gives Elyse an odd look, _I saw you earlier._

Adam laughs a little nervous, bites his lip and shrugs, _Talk to your wife,_ he says with a sweeping hand movement in her direction.

Elyse goes to join James on the couch, kicks her shoes off and pulls her feet up beside her, _Adam’s staying the night,_ she says matter-of-factly, _We’re going to the beach in the morning and getting breakfast, Benson’s coming with us too, of course_.

Benson lifts his head at the sound of his name but loses interest in Elyse pretty quick because Adam’s moved further into the living room, gravitating towards where Benson’s stretched out across the floor and by the time James and Elyse have stopped having a silent conversation full of pointed looks and mouthed words, Adam’s petting down a sleeping Benson’s side, a small smile on his lips and Elyse (and James too, although he won’t admit it) feels something in her chest at the relaxed slope of Adam’s shoulders.

(True to her words, Elyse wakes them up the next morning, James first—and while he’s in the shower, she goes to wake Adam, Adam who somehow ended up in the floor, blanket tangled around his legs, one arm over Benson’s body while he sleeps, curled up in an almost ball on his side.

She can’t help it, she snaps a few pictures of them and Benson wakes up when she moves in too close to them, getting up and shaking, the noise of his collar and sudden lack of warmth waking Adam.

_Oh huh, g’morning,_ Adam mumbles sleepily and rubs his eyes, he looks well rested and relaxed, something Elyse hasn’t seen in a while and it makes her _happy_.

_Good morning sleepy head,_ she says to him, fondness in her tone and James comes out of the bedroom, dressed in a pair of sweats, _You wanna shower before we head out?_

Adam nods and it takes him a few minutes to get up, to wake up enough to walk but he smiles at them both, a small, barely there sort of smile, but a smile nonetheless and he goes to shower.

_You look happy this morning,_ James says to her when Adam’s in the bathroom and she turns, grins at him, _That’s cause I am,_ she says to him and leans up on her toes to kiss James softly. _Thank you for going along with this._

James just snorts softly, his hand going to her waist, _I get free breakfast out of it,_ he says, _And a trip to the beach, I count this as a win_.

Elyse rolls her eyes but doesn’t say anything because she knows better, knows that James is glad Adam’s with them, that Adam’s going to have a brief reprieve away from worry about the approaching _day_.)

Adam and Benson run off as soon as they get to the beach and James unclips Benson’s leash from his collar, _Bring my dog back in one piece,_ he calls out and Adam just flips him off before tossing the frisbee as far as he can.

_So, I have good ideas, right?_ Elyse says as they walk along the shore and its nice, sort of romantic with the way James is holding her hand.

James makes a noise of agreement, _Well, I guess you have them sometimes,_ he says and when she looks up at him, she notices he’s looking off in the distance (he’s looking at Adam, she realizes, Adam and Benson, but mostly Adam who’s laughing with his head thrown back at Benson rolling around in the sand with the frisbee still in his mouth) and then he looks down at her, _So we did that, huh?_

She’s confused at the question at first but then she realizes that he’s talking about _Adam_ , talking about _Adam_ being happy and she shrugs, _I think Benson’s doing it_.

James sighs and nudges her in the side, _You know what I mean,_ he says and they stop walking to watch Adam try to wrestle the frisbee from Benson’s mouth, the triumphant little dance when he gets it away from him brings a grin to James’ face, brings warmth to Elyse’s chest and Elyse sighs, _James, I don’t think now’s the time to make assumptions._

_It’s not,_ James murmurs in agreement, _But just answer the question_.

Elyse watches Adam stretch back and toss the frisbee some distance away from him, the grin on his face visible as he watches Benson run off to get it, _I hope we did,_ she says quietly.

(Elyse keeps an open line of communication with Adam while he’s gone to see his family, she’s not going to admit she’s worried out loud but she thinks that James knows, _How’s he doing?_ He asks, glancing away from the television long enough to look over at the bright screen of Elyse’s phone.

_He’s…doing,_ she says with a frown, _Says that everyone’s not even arrived yet but they’re already being unbearable._

James hums softly, _We should invite him over for Christmas, just the three of us here, some beer maybe wine and dinner—nothing too much._

Elyse is typing away on her phone, _I’ll bring it up to him,_ she says and James goes back to watching the movie, draws Elyse in close because even if he’s not outwardly showing it, he’s worried about Adam too.)

The tweet sets something off in Elyse, something angry and dark, makes her want to storm up to where Adam is and say something, _anything_ to the one stalking about Adam behind his back.

Surprisingly, it’s Adam that calls her first, _I need you to give me a reason to leave a day early,_ he says in lieu of a hello and she falters, _Oh uh, hello to you too, Adam, I’m doing alright._

_Elyse,_ he says, drags her name out with a little whine, _I need help, **please** ,_ he says and the way he emphasizes the please, makes her heart ache.

( _Come home to us,_ she wants to say, wants to tell him, _to me and James and Benson, we’re your family now,_ but she doesn’t say that, _can’t_ say that.)

Finally, she says, _They’re making you feel like shit,_ and it’s blunt but it’s probably something that Adam needs because he’s sighing heavy and there’s a muffled thump in the background, _You’re right,_ he says quietly, _You’re right Elyse, they are._

_Come home, Adam,_ she says, her own voice quiet, _Come over when you get back and James’ll cook you up something nice to eat. We’ll watch Batman movies until we fall asleep._

Adam’s answer is almost too quiet to hear, the soft, _alright, I will_ and then an exhale, _Goodnight Elyse,_ he says and when she echoes back a _Goodnight Adam,_ he hangs up.

_I think he’s coming home,_ Elyse says when the bed dips and James is at her back then, hands on her bare shoulders—she sighs and leans back into him, _I hate that they’re like this to him,_ she says quietly and James hums, presses a kiss to the side of her head, _Me too,_ he whispers.

(Adam shows up the next day, he looks tired like he drove all day to get there on no sleep—and knowing Adam, he probably did, but when Elyse opens the door to their apartment, Adam relaxes a little and he gives her a strained sort of grin, _You said something about food?_

James cooks like a dream and after they’ve eaten and consumed a couple of beers, the stress lines in Adam’s face, the punched look evens out into something softer as he grins up at Elyse and James from his place on the floor, _Thank you,_ he says sincerely and James shrugs and takes a long swig of his beer, _Don’t mention it, man_.

Elyse nudges James in the side, _What he means is, you’re welcome,_ she says and smiles at Adam and Adam smiles back, laughs a little, _I know what he meant,_ he says quietly, glancing between James and Elyse with a look in his eyes that Elyse doesn’t want to think too much about, a sort of longing that makes Elyse want to reach out to him.

_Another beer?_ She asks and stands up, collects her and James’ bottles and starts towards the kitchen, Adam shakes his head and lays back on the floor, uses Benson as a pillow for a bit, _I’m good,_ he says, _Thank you though_.

She nods and heads into the kitchen, has to stop and take a few deep breaths, press her forehead against the refrigerator for a minute—the look in Adam’s eyes almost too much—but maybe she’s looking into things too far, maybe she’s looking for something _she_ wants, projecting her feelings onto Adam.

She ends up grabbing bottles of water instead of beer and shortly after, her and James go to bed, Adam already half asleep and wrapped up in a blanket on the floor with Benson.

_What’s wrong?_ James asks, voice hushed when they get into the bedroom and Elyse shakes her head, _I was seeing things,_ she says, _It’s the beer probably, we should go to bed,_ she says with a smile and a quick kiss to his mouth.

James looks like he wants to say something but nods instead.)

It’s a weird thing to do, Elyse realizes that next morning—she wakes up and James is gone, at the gym most likely, and she’s alone with Adam, Adam who’s asleep with Benson still and Elyse can’t help it, something about seeing Adam curled up with her dog just urges her to take as many photos as she can.

They’re shaky and dark in the dim light of the morning and she ends up sending one to Adam, the caption _look at your ‘baby boy’_ and it doesn’t take James long to reply, a quick _fuck you_ between reps probably and she laughs softly, grabs a blanket of her own and falls back onto the couch, ends up napping while Adam sleeps and James is gone and it’s _nice_ and _normal_ and something Elyse could see herself doing more often.

It feels _right_.

(Elyse joins Funhaus officially and something in her chest loosens when she realizes that she can keep an eye on Adam full time now instead of depending on James to keep her updated because James, he doesn’t _understand_ usually, her need to make sure Adam’s alright, and knowing that she can look up from her computer and over at Adam during the day now, it sets her at ease.)

James finally invites Adam over for Christmas and Adam laughs it off, makes a joke about taking him up on the offer but that’s what it is—a joke, a weak one at that, like he _wants_ to take him up on the offer.

( _I’m serious Adam,_ James says to him and Adam’s looking at him with wide eyes, like he can’t believe it, like he wants to laugh it off again, _Think about it—you, me, Elyse, action movies and alcohol, Benson too,_ he tacks on at the end and Adam, well, he deflates a little and shrugs, _Alright, alright, you pulled my leg enough,_ he mumbles.

_You won’t regret it,_ James says seriously.)

Adam does regret it, he realizes, waking up Christmas Day in the Willems’ bed, James’ back to him while his face is pressed into Elyse’s shoulder and he can’t help it, he startles and ends up tumbling over Elyse in his haste to get out of bed.

(He doesn’t remember, doesn’t remember what happened last night, there was alcohol—vodka probably and food and a lot of laughter and then, he groans and presses his face into his hands; he’s locked himself in the bathroom, needed to put some distance between him and James and Elyse and he _remembers,_ remembers kissing James last night, the way James _kissed him back_ —remembers half kneeling in the floor, half leaning over James and _kissing_ him while Elyse watched from beside them, her eyes wide, cheeks pink from the alcohol.

There was making out, it’s all shaky and jittery but he remembers, remembers the way James’ hand felt around the back of his neck, warm and soft, comforting, _safe_.

_James is **married**_ , he whispers to himself, angry for letting himself get that drunk, for letting his guard down.

He ends up sneaking out of the apartment before James and Elyse wake up.)

_Did we,_ is the first thing James says when he wakes up, voice quiet and rough and Elyse hums and buries her face in her pillow, _Where’s Adam?_ She says and despite the hangover, she’s calling for Adam, voice loud.

When there’s no answer, they drag themselves out of the bed, and when there’s no sign of Adam, Elyse pretends it doesn’t sting that he didn’t leave a note, a text, _anything_ to let them know where he went.

(Since they have some time off, they don’t have to work and that means, Adam can hide at his apartment; he hasn’t been answering the texts that Elyse sends, he knows she means well but he _feels_ for them and after Christmas Eve, he can’t look too into it anymore, has to distance himself before someone gets hurt.

_It’s better this way,_ he tells the empty apartment, _We’re friends, good friends but still friends_.

He doesn’t believe it, he’s not an idiot—and he may not be in tune with everything all the time but he _felt something_ between the three of them and it felt _good_ felt _right_ , but Elyse and James are married and there’s _no room_ for him.)

Elyse, not one to be deterred, goes to Adam’s apartment several days later, it’s almost new years and she wants to make things right, after having figured out from the bits and pieces that James remembers plus the pieces she remembers from Christmas Eve, she knows the whole thing is a _huge_ misunderstanding and could be easily fixed with talking.

_Adam, open the door, please, it’s Elyse,_ she says, knocking on his door and waiting, and she waits for a while, til the sun’s going down, _Adam, please talk to me, this is really important._

The text comes through on her phone once the sun’s down and its dark, it’s a simple _I’m sorry_ and Elyse feels her heart sinking, _What for?_ She texts him back and waits, waits some more before Adam’s reply comes through, _Kissing James._

The laugh catches her by surprise and she leans against the door, _Adam,_ she calls out, _Open the door for me, please. I don’t want to have this conversation over text message—seriously this is all a huge misunderstanding._

The door finally does open and Elyse can see the shadows on Adam’s face, the slightly fearful look in his eye and she reaches out and grabs his hand, _Oh baby boy,_ she says, the words slipping out before she can catch them and Adam looks sort of scared, sort of skittish, _Adam, we need to talk. You and James and I, the three of us._

_I—okay,_ Adam says and he says the words like they taste disgusting, makes a face and Elyse is pulling him out of the apartment, _Come on Kovic,_ she says, still holding his hand, fingers laced in between his. _I’m not delivering you to a fire squad_.

Adam presses his lips together, _I’m starting to think that’d be the better ending to this situation._

It hurts but Elyse can understand, sort of understand at least, _Just shush and come on_.

(James looks like he’s been pacing, looks _excited_ to see Adam when they arrive and Adam has to remind himself that he’s reading in too much to this.

_Adam,_ James says and then he’s in his space and there’s _arms_ around him, _hugging_ him and Elyse is still holding his hand, _Adam, Elyse told me, Adam, you’ve got this all wrong,_ the words are half-sentences and don’t make much sense until James pulls away and takes a deep breath. _Let’s go sit down._ )

He’s on the couch between them, his hands in his lap and whenever Adam glances over at Elyse, she’s looking at him like she wants to _hug_ him, or grab his hand or both and Adam bites his lips, _So,_ he says slowly, _You said we need to talk_.

It’s James that takes the lead, that turns to face Adam on the couch and he looks over Adam’s shoulder for Elyse’s support and she smiles and nods at him, _Our dynamic, the three of us, that’s—we’ve changed these past few months._ He starts out and it’s not the best sort of start, but Adam nods and James counts it as a win.

_We don’t want to make you uncomfortable,_ Elyse butts in and Adam turns his head to look at her, _the dynamic, it used to be just me and James but somewhere, somewhere around Halloween, that shifted to include you too, Adam_.

James nods and Elyse takes a deep breath, _We don’t want to rush things, we didn’t even know if you’d felt anything for us but—we hoped? I guess that’s the word, we hoped that because you were spending time with us, that it meant **something** but we didn’t want to…pry or push you into something you didn’t want._

Adam’s quiet, has to mull the words over, _Are you,_ he finally says and he looks between James and Elyse, _Are you saying what I think you are?_

Elyse laughs a little at that, a nervous, high sort of laugh, _We could be saying anything, Adam,_ she says.

_We want you to join us,_ James finally blurts out and its blunt and he winces after he says it, _Damn, I didn’t want to say it that way._

_Join you as in…_ Adam says slowly, _Be…together with you?_

James shrugs, tries to play it off, _If that’s what you want,_ he says, _To be with us, if you just want to be really close friends, we can do that too, but…but,_ James says seriously and he reaches out to grab one of Adam’s hands, _Just know that Elyse and I, we have feelings for you Adam, we **care** about you,_ he emphasizes the word with a squeeze of Adam’s fingers, _We want you to be happy, that’s what we want._

_What do you want?_ Elyse asks him and Adam’s feeling a little overwhelmed, he feels choked up and like he needs to get _out of there now_ , he pulls his hand away from James’ with a sad sort of look, _I need to—I need to think about it first,_ he says slowly. _I need, I need to be alone_.

Elyse drives him back to his apartment and when she goes to say something, he shakes his head, _Elyse, please, let me think alright?_ He says softly but he reaches across and grabs her hand, squeezes it tight. _I just, need to think._

She nods and when he gets out, the car feels empty, feels lonely and she has to hurry back to her apartment before the feelings settle in too deep.

They don’t hear from Adam again until New Years when they’re halfway through a bottle of champagne and Elyse is eating more cheese than she is cheese and crackers; there’s a timid knock at the door, a careful sort of knock that they almost don’t hear, but Benson makes a soft noise, an almost bark and James turns the music down.

There’s a knock again and Elyse gets up to answer it, _Adam,_ she says in surprise, and Adam looks sheepish, his hair’s a little messy and he looks tired but gives her a hopeful sort of look, _Is there room for one more?_

In a flurry of movement, she’s pulling him in and he goes, goes so easy, even easier when she pulls him into a tight hug, his arms winding around her waist and it feels right, oh so right to hug Adam like this, to have his solid warmth against her.

_You’re always welcome here,_ she says, her voice strong, voice a little wobbly but she means it, means every word and they only pull apart because James is coming into the hallway to find out what’s taking so long.

_Surprise?_ Adam says, glancing over Elyse’s shoulder at James, still holding her tight against him and James tries to look angry, wants to give Adam a piece of his mind for just going _silent_ for several days but it drains out of him quick and he’s left with just the longing.

_Get in here, asshole,_ James says and Elyse is pulling away, looking happier than she has in a few days, grabbing Adam’s hand and pulling him into the living room.

James’s arm comes up around his shoulder and he’s pressing a kiss to Adam’s temple, _I’m glad you came back,_ he whispers.

Adam smiles over at him, feels Elyse against him again, _Me too,_ he says.

(He rings in the New Year by kissing Elyse, by pulling her close and laughing when their lips meet off center at three seconds til midnight, _Oops,_ he says and she’s laughing softly against his mouth, _Try again,_ she says back and he does, kisses her like he’s got all the time in the world, holds her close like she’s precious to him and it’s perfect, wonderful, _everything_ she could have ever hoped for.)


End file.
